The Butler Project

Yesterday afternoon as I drove my 11-year-old son to baseball practice, the news came on the radio. The announcer mentioned something about the IRS.

“What’s the IRS, Mom?” came the question from the back seat.

“Well, it’s the Internal Revenue Service; the part of our government that collects taxes.” (Can’t you just hear my “Mom Voice?”)

“Oh yeah, you hate them don’t you?”

Wow. I didn’t think I had displayed such strong emotion about paying taxes, but he had obviously picked up on some strong feelings somewhere.

The fact of the matter is we in the U.S. do hate paying taxes, don’t we? In fact, it would almost be un-American not to hate paying taxes.

And why is that?

image credit: Mat Honan

When you honestly examine your feelings, you probably recognize you have a whole bag of mixed (negative) emotions about tax time. Obviously we don’t like paying them, and for sure, most of us don’t understand the tax code. Paying taxes often feels like wasting money we have worked so hard to accumulate. Many feel they are being penalized for being successful, others enjoy a refund, but know they could have been smarter with that money. Perhaps the biggest problem with taxes is simply that they are complicated, stressful, and require extra work on our part, not to mention having to pay someone else (hopefully a qualified professional) to examine our income, expenditures, and record keeping for the past year.

I think it’s safe to say that filing and paying taxes is the pits, our tax code is horrendous, and the government often seems to waste the hard earned money we send them.

Take a minute to think about your taxes. Hate them. Feel the stress associated with tax forms and receipts, deductions and filing deadlines. Imagine the money leaving your bank account, or worse, being added to your credit card balance. Notice how your body reacts to these thoughts. Notice your chest, your stomach, your shoulders, your hands. Can you feel the stress? Do you like how you feel?

Now, in the spirit of my recent posts on gratitude, you can do a few things to change your attitude about taxes and release some of the negativity associated with them.

Gratitude is all about noticing and appreciating.

In terms of taxes, it’s about noticing and appreciating the benefits you enjoy that are paid for with your tax money.

For me, it only takes a moment to come up with a few taxpayer-funded things I am truly grateful for:

• I really like driving 75 on our generally smooth and clear highways. The lines painted there keep me and the other drivers safe.
• I love my son’s kindergarten teacher. Our taxes pay her salary and for the upkeep of the building. I appreciate the bus system that gets him to and from school safely each day.
• I love our national park system. From paved trails to back country outhouses, the amenities provided by our tax dollars help my family enjoy our foray into nature.
• Whatever you think about the war in Iraq, I feel gratitude for our military and it’s impact on our country’s history.

Now, take 60 seconds to notice and be grateful for the benefits of taxpayer money you enjoy. Think about the things you would miss if tax money was not available to pay for them.

image credit: dark embrace

Again, notice how your body reacts to your thoughts. Notice your chest, your stomach, your shoulders, your hands. Do you feel differently than you did before?

I know all these references to feelings may sound like crazy talk. If you aren’t in the habit of paying attention to your body’s reaction to your feelings, it’s probably difficult to do. But even if you haven’t been paying attention, your body has still been reacting to your feelings. Now you have a choice: the feelings of stress and negativity you associate with taxes, or the feelings you felt as you considered the benefits of taxes with gratitude. It’s your choice.

It’s okay to acknowledge our tax system isn’t fair, and is by far too complicated. It’s even better to work to change what you see is wrong. Either way, you have a tax return due April 15. Now you have a choice: pay your taxes grudgingly and endure the stress and negativity associated with them, OR file with gratitude and see the abundance all around you.

Your relationship with money is a choice. You can choose to use money gratefully or you can choose to do it grudgingly, either way you pay, but only with gratitude do you recognize abundance and dissipate fear.

Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic.

John Henry Jowett

Do you want to feel abundance?

Friday I posted about the blessings of feeling gratitude and it’s amazing ability to chase fear away. If you have not yet experienced the benefits of gratitude, try these three exercises. They don’t cost anything, nor do they take more than a few moments of your time, yet you will find the power of gratitude to lift your mood and change your day amazing!

1. The next time you buy something, stop and consider the many hands and systems that were required to bring the product in its current form to you.
Feel gratitude that those systems are in place.

Image credit: ๑۩۞۩๑~OTH~๑۩۞۩๑

2. As you go about your daily work, whether it be housekeeping, delivering pizza, or making high commission sales, stop and consider the people and machines that make your work possible. (I personally pat my washing machine and tell it “thank you” each time I do laundry. I mean really, how much better is a washing machine in my basement than a rock in a river?)

3. When you start to feel you don’t have enough, or you will never have enough, allow those feelings to be for a moment, and then replace the fear with gratitude for what you have and the experiences you are gaining.

Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.

Aesop

It may take a few tries before you can really feel grateful for hard things, but allow yourself some practice! You will get better, gratitude will come easier, and your life will be lighter.

Image credit: Topato

What purchases did you make today? What stores did you go to? Perhaps you bought food at the grocery store. Think about your feelings as you shopped and paid for that food. Was your mind filled with thoughts such as these?

• Ugh, the price of milk just keeps going up. Somebody has got to do something about this; it’s just milk!
• Why does organic food have to cost so much? These organic carrots look just like those regular carrots.
• I’ll never be able to afford T-bone steak.
• Why do I always have to wait in line? Can’t they figure out how to get people out of here more efficiently?

How did it make you feel? Was it a happy experience??

Pay Your Bills With Gratitude

Many years ago I read some financial advice that changed me. It was a simple, seemingly inconsequential suggestion from Suze Orman that I “pay my bills with gratitude”. It sounded crazy. At that point, paying bills meant feeling like I didn’t have enough money and never would, that I could never do anything fun because I had to spend all my money just for basic survival. So, I took the advice, figuring things couldn’t get any worse and it didn’t cost anything or even take any extra time.

The next time I paid my bills I dutifully thought “I’m glad I have electricity in my home to run my air conditioner and dishwasher.” “Thank you for providing me with TV service so that I can learn and be entertained.” “Thank you for picking up my trash so it doesn’t pile up around my home.”

While the thoughts I was forcing were just that–forced (and somewhat laced with sarcasm), they did begin to change my feelings as I paid bills. I began to be grateful for money– for the money I had coming in as well as the money I exchanged for the services I was enjoying. This gratitude spilled over into my everyday life as I began to notice the blessings in my life that I had taken for granted: when I came in from the hot outdoors into my cool air conditioned house, I was grateful. When I toted my heavy trash can out to the curb, I was grateful. When my old car got me to and from the places I wanted to be, I was grateful I didn’t have to walk. I began to see abundance in my life that I had never noticed before.

It’s counter intuitive, but if you’ve experienced living with gratitude compared with living with indifference or anger, you understand the difference I am writing about. I am a happier and better person with gratitude. You can be too.

Fear Disappears

“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears.”

-Tony Robbins

For so many of us, dealing with money means dealing with emotions such as guilt, shame, anger, and fear. Think about the shopping trip mentioned earlier and the negative feelings associated with it. How would your experience have changed if you replaced those feelings with thoughts like these?

• I’m so grateful I have a cart and don’t have to carry all this stuff.
• It is so convenient for me to buy produce, dairy products, meat, and household items all at the same store.
• I am so glad we have people who are willing to take the risk of farming, putting in long hours and depending on the mercy of the weather to bring in a good crop and provide us with fruits and vegetables and grains.
• Wow, these grapes came all the way from Chile. A lot of coordination went on to get them here, in this nice little bag, basically clean and ready to eat.

Can you see where I’m going with this? Does it change your perspective on grocery shopping?

Image credit:phototram

Fear simply cannot coexist when gratitude is introduced. Your mind cannot simultaneously have thoughts of never being able to afford T-bones and gratitude for farmers and ranchers. The negative emotions you associate with money are actually banished with gratitude.

You can feel gratitude all day long when dealing with money. If you’re picking up a newspaper, buying a new car or filling your car with gasoline, stop and consider how many people and how many systems are necessary to get products from their raw form to the state in which you purchase them. It’s a bit awe inspiring.

How do you feel now?

Are you convinced you’d like to try to experience more gratitude in your life? Perhaps you don’t believe it can make that big of a difference. Maybe you think your relationship with money is fine–your financial life is not plagued by negative emotions. Wherever your feelings fall in this spectrum, I have some exercises that will make a difference in your life. Tune in Monday for some simple ideas that cost nothing and take only a few moments of your time, but will return a life where “fear disappears and abundance appears.”